Challenge for Growth Prompt #4: Think Before Saying Yes or No

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Think Before Saying Yes or No

This week’s challenge is:

“Today I take time to think before I say Yes or No.”

While some people have trouble saying Yes and others say No to every request, I believe it is much more common for people to struggle with saying No. This struggle often stems from childhood experiences. It may not have been okay, or even safe, to say No in our families of origin. Many of us were taught/programmed to please others by doing what others wanted them to do. As an adult, we may say Yes to things we don’t want to do; say Yes but then not follow through on our commitments; or say Yes reflexively without taking any time to think about the request.

I once heard a joke that addresses this issue. “What happens when a codependent dies?” Answer: Someone else’s life flashes before his eyes.” While it is a funny joke, it is also a sad situation and it may be true. You cannot live your own life and do everything everyone else wants you to do.

The first step in looking at this issue may be to observe any struggles you have in saying either Yes or No. At the same time, start pausing to think before you reply to a request. You may need 15 seconds or you may need 48 hours or more to get clear. It is perfectly appropriate to respond, “I will think about it and get back to you.

This week, for one, two, three days or longer, focus on thinking before you say Yes or No. Sometime during the week, write a post about some aspect of this topic or about your experiences when you think before you answer a Yes or No question. Feel free to use whatever form you desire: i.e., prose, story, poem, photograph, etc.

I look forward to seeing where this challenge takes you.

The article that you link to this prompt should be a new post written specifically for this challenge.

 

General Prompt Information:

New prompts will be posted at 5 a.m. (PST) every Wednesday.

Since it is easier to make behavioral changes if we focus on them one day at a time, each of the weekly challenges will start with “Today, I focus on…….” It will be up to you to decide how long you want to focus on a particular challenge— one, two, three days or even longer. At some point during the week, publish a post that relates in some way to the subject of the week.

Link your post back to this prompt post. If the pingback doesn’t work, then leave the link to your post in the comment section below.  Be sure to include “Challenge for Growth Prompts” as one of your tags.

Throughout the week, I will publish the links for the posts that were created as the result of this prompt.  I will also post the links from those who participated the previous week. That way they will be seen by anyone who comes to this page.

If you don’t have a blog, please feel free to submit your contribution to the prompt in the comment section below.

 

This week’s contributors to Think Before Saying Yes or No:

The Making of Yes- Nik’s Place

And to the World I Say- Where Love Meets War

Why Do We Behave the Way We Do?- Living, Learning and Letting Go

Challenges for Growth Prompts #4- Annette’s Place

          How about you?

 

Last week’s contributors to Learning to Be:

What Does It Mean to Be? – Living, Learning and Letting Go

Painting Our Illusions- Where Love Meets War

Failure to Be- Nik’s Place

Being Her True Self- Traces of the Soul

Learning to Be- Journey of a Warrior Womyn

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14 thoughts on “Challenge for Growth Prompt #4: Think Before Saying Yes or No

    1. I agree. The way I have phrased it is “If you can’t say No, your Yes doesn’t mean anything.”

      I occasionally do a workshop about saying and hearing NO. During one part of it I have people pair up and experience receiving a shoulder massage from 1) a person who says YES when asked but doesn’t want to do it, 2) a person who says yes but you never know whether or not they want to do what they’ve agreed to do and 3) a person they know will say NO if he/she prefers not to give one. Needless to say the quality of the massage is very different depending on the situation. It has been a helpful method for making the point.

      Like

      1. You know what was wrong?? Do you use Grammarly.com for editing? Well, when you copy and paste to a blank correction form there they help you edit and then you copy and paste to original post before you do that though you erase old post before corrections. Somewhere in the editing process it just drops your links. So, from now on I have to do the links after the edit!!! craziness!!

        Liked by 1 person

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