broken and ready

I remember a time when Sreejit mentioned in one of his posts that he considered Ra to be his blogging mentor. I, of course, headed directly to her blog to find out why. Since that time, I have discovered for myself what an amazing person she is. In addition to all of her other positive qualities, I have discovered she is a role model for how to live through adversity. I love the post she wrote this morning and decided to reblog it so you have the opportunity to read it too.

rarasaur

I don’t usually write when I’m upset.  When something hurts me, or twists my truths, or shakes the core of my world– I phone a friend.  I brew some tea.  I ask my mother a question she couldn’t possibly answer, and I write a million notes down in one of my million notebooks.

I don’t usually write in the moment of a broken heart.  I’m not ready.

I wait to digest my thoughts.  I taste them– the flavor and texture– and then let the acids that fizzle inside of me break them down.  I let the fire inside of me burn them up, until all that is left over are the indigestibles.

Right now, I can’t seem to process anything.  My insides are completely full of huge, indigestible feels.

I rally around leftover ideas that smell sweet in the light of my campfire, but still never seem to ash.

“This…

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